Things + 50 Shades Review (Part i)

Just another tiring day. But so much funny things happened today that I decided that it was absolutely necessary for me to write it down before my memory fails me.


[It would be wise to note that some of the following are results of my over-active imagination.]

Let us start with the most irritating matter first.

As JW would know, I was studying Physics last time in preparation for today’s quiz. And may I add that I was in fact very very put off by the bulky chapters that we had to study. So I studied and I studied and I panicked and I studied. Dang~dang~dang, I was like this pendulum that oscillated between panicking and studying. In fact I woke up at 5am today to continue studying stupid physics.

In the end, the topic I spent the most time studying was not tested. At all.

=takes a deep breath to calm myself=

Now, I just wasted so much of my time yesterday studying for this nonsense that was not going to come out, and I sacrificed one hour of sleep to study for that same nonsense. And it was not tested. And the worse thing was that I had no one to blame but myself for not understanding instructions, if I actually did catch them in the first place.

At least the quiz was still manageable, at least with Jumpy J.’s help. 😀 =shhhh!=

We had some Australian Chemistry Quiz thing this morning, and I have to tell you that it was one of the most boring exams one can ever sit for, next to ICAS English and ICAS Science. I was so bored that I yawned at a high frequency and my eyes proceeded to stick themselves together like well-chewed, gooey gums. I finished the paper in 40minutes, checked my shading, and went to sleep.

Best sleep ever. Made me relatively more cheerful as compared to my grouchy morning self. 

In fact, it was such a fabulous nap that I even dreamed. I dreamt that I had already handed in the stupid Chem Quiz thing and was feeling very relaxed and sated in my dream. Then I proceeded to sleep in my dream. How cool is that, huh?

Language Arts was not fun. Wennie and Nehceh were not talking to each other because they were quite annoyed with each other during the course of the project, and I was irritated with almost everyone too. And it is nobody’s fault but Umbridge’s. If she had never grouped us this way, then Phiephie, Mazz, Wennie and all would be in the same group as me and I wouldn’t have to suffer as much. But now, I can only shake my head in helplessness.

Heard that someone is kissing up to Umbridge. Not gonna mention her here, but well we all know who she is, don’t we?

I do hate irresponsible people who think they are responsible and go around lecturing people like the moralistic retards they are. It is like, sometimes they never ever put in that much effort into their work, but in that disillusioned mind of theirs, they are actually VERY responsible beings, hence they walk around on their glossy stilettos telling people the dos and don’ts of life.

I also abhor those who talk a lot and behave as though they are contributing a lot, but in fact never ever does anything substantial enough for them to be talking so much. They do have to wake up and realize that talking seldom gets anyone anywhere.

In the same caste as the aforementioned beings, are those who claim credit for things that you do and for the ideas that you have come up with. They are like, I did this that this that and you realized at the same time as everyone else that everything she claimed credit for was done by someone else. Terrible, omg.

Now, instead of speaking in such an abstract manner, I shall proceed to recount the irritating people that exist in Phiephie’s group. From all that I have heard, those are a bunch of irresponsible loud people who talks all the time and does nothing. So here is the summary of her nasty teammates:

=summary of these people has been removed to avoid creating inconvenience to phiephie=

Someone please smack these people.

There is this classmate of mine which I don’t like. No in fact not liking is such an understatement. I detest her, I loathe her and I wish that I don’t have to see her at all. Too bad the school does not revolve around me like everything else does, or she will be out of my sight before she can even say, “Onions”. I mean, I have never seen someone who is so haughty! And holds herself with so much importance some more. =faints and rolls around on the ground=

Shit, I am having gastrics.
Or maybe it is lactose intolerance?  I drank cold chocolate milk an hour ago.
Or maybe it is the iced coffee?

Oh noes. I shall eat a kit-kat.
=munches=
Shucks the pain is still there. Any aspiring doctors here to tell me what condition this is? I experience such gastric pains quite often.

Ignoring the pain, I shall move on to talk about Phiephie and I’s conversation on our way back home.

For some reason, we were once again in the topic about height, weight and legs. Phiephie is envious of my height, which I am quite satisfied with. I am 165cm by the way, just to show off a little. Phiephie is about 160cm which is not that bad either. My neighbor Wenjia is like 168-172cm? Damn tall, damn lean.

Anyway, back to the topic about stumpiness. Wait did I even mention stumpiness yet? Okay, anyway it is mentioned now.

Now, being stumpy is a very very bad and sad thing. Because not matter how tall you are, you can always be stumpy. If you have short legs and a long torso.

And fyi, I do NOT have short legs and a long torso, I just have legs that are not as long as I would have liked and a torso that I wish was shorter. Who needs such a long torso anyway?

So like I was saying, I was telling Phiephie that being stumpy is a very very sad case. And obviously she disagreed because she thinks that my height is the “ideal height” and I shouldn’t be so particular over torsos and leg lengths. So I came up with a creative idea to make her agree with me, it is something like that:

I stood my (just found) wallet on my file and told her to imagine it as the torso. Then I made a v-shape with my forefinger and middle-finger and let them peaked out a little beneath the bulky wallet-torso. There you have it, stumpiness all well imagined!

But much to my indignance, Phiephie disagreed. She thinks that so long as you are tall, stumpiness can be overlooked. That is, however, a wide-accepted fallacy that one cannot be stumpy if one is tall. But of course my very high IQ allowed me to come up with a better argument.

Image Source

 THERE!!!!

May we introduce the Mascot of Stumpiness, the Hershey Chocolate’s stumpy mascot!!!

Long torso? Check.
Non-existent stump of legs? Check!
Tall? Still tall!
But stumpy? Definitely.

This is what I called Stumpiness Hershey-fied (personified).

At my brilliant argument, Phiephie wilted and conceded.
MUAHAHAHA.
I am a freaking genius for thinking of this silly little mascot which irritated me so much during HCNY sports day.

Everywhere I go~~~ People want to know~~~ Want I “Stumpy?”

That was lame. But I can never understand the logic of those who chose the Stumpy Hershey over the Hershey bowl which is so much more useful and practical in my eyes. I mean what ever can you do with a stuffed Stumpy Hershey? It is too small to hug, to large to decorate desk with, too stumpy to like and not nice to eat. Not that the bowl was too brilliant since it retained heat wayyy too well, but at least it can contain things. While Mr Stumpy can only sit in a corner and gather dust and dirt.

At this point of my rant, Phiephie asked with a shocked face that “there were stumpy Hersheys and Hershey bowls?” and proceed to pout a little. Very adorable. And yes there were! Phiephie could have walked around with her eyes closed.

I was saying that if I ever get a Stumpy, I would go trade it for bars of chocolates. And Stumpy Hershey Mascot, SHM for short, would feel very very indignant indeed.

“I’m not stumpy!” SHM yelled in a very exasperated voice, and a very loud one too, for such a stumpy little thing.

“Not like anyone would ever want you.” I retorted meanly. Boy, are stumpy people all that irritating?

SHM crossed its short arms and looked as cross as it could manage with its inanimate face and stone-cast eyebrows. It then gave a little huff of displeasure.

I picked it up by its stout little leg and flung it out of the window as hard as I could, imagining that it was someone whom I really hate. I cannot name anyone, because too many people get on my nerves, now and before. Stumpy flew out of the window with increasing velocity and finally reaches its terminal velocity.

=Mr Ang the Armadillo would be proud of my Physics. 🙂 -beams-=

SHM shed a single, glittering tear that fell like a shimmering shard of crystal.

“Goodbye world,” SHM said softly, “Goodbye Hershey Chocolates, Goodbye Ying Ying.”
SHM closed its eyes and its short life flashes across its felt eyes.

I’m going to die~ Stumpy thinks to itself sadly.

It’s heart thudded heavily, for the last time, as Stumpy plummeted to the ground.

“OOOOMMMMPH!”

There you go. Soft toys can’t die. Too bad. Sighs. Stumpy is still alive.
By the way, during sport’s day, I didn’t pick Stumpy. I picked a bowl. Hence, no Stumpies were hurt in the making of this fiction.

50 Shades Review (Part i)

50 shades of grey is pretty dry after I read it again.
50 shades darker is better because it is more emotional and less of the physical (carnal) pleasures. But it irritates me that each time I enjoy some developments in the relationship of Ana and Grey, they would start tearing each other’s clothes off. DAMN IRRITATING. Jumpy agrees with me.

And the repeated vocabulary and description is very very off-putting. If you only have that many words to describe the sex scenes, then keep it to a minimal! Always “lick”, “kiss”, “nuzzle”, “fondle”, “Pinch” etc etc.

I mean, yeah lar, there are only that many things you can do to each other, so stop having sex like every ten pages? Irritating omg.

Another thing I couldn’t stand is how Christian always seem to be murmuring.
I hate people who murmur.

Jumpy: murmur murmur murmur
Me: Speak up! I cannot hear you!
Jumpy: murmur murmur murmur
Me: HUH? Can’t hear a thing! =pushes ear towards her=
Jumpy: murmur murmur murmur
Me: ARGH forget it. 🙁

That’s right. I don’t like people who murmur all the time. Strains my ears. Pshhhh.

Another thing that does not make sense at all is how all the quarrels, arguments, displeasure, conversations, meals between Ana and Grey ends up with them having a good shag. I mean does it even make sense? No! No one can take that much of sex. And it is bad, because having more sex= higher risks of reproductive cancers such as cervical cancer etc etc.

Like when they are eating, then suddenly, “electricity flowed between us and Christian’s eyes DARKENED”. Why, that guys eyes seem to darken and lighten like lightbulbs. Everywhere also can feel electricity, everywhere also can have sex. Wtsssss. Like in the boathouse, at functions, at home, elevators…..EVERYWHERE.

NONSENSE.

And the sex scenes are quite boring.

But let us be fair, Fifty Shades Darker is way better than Fifty Shades of Grey. It focuses more on the development of relationship and the inter-connected emotionally rather than some raw animal instincts. I liked how Grey is willing to change and how Ana can compromise and that they are always jealous of each other. But it is irritating how they always think they are not good enough for each other. Such low self-esteem is much frowned upon. Always go like, “But, I am not good enough for you, I don’t know how to hold you.”

I was so irritated by their low self esteems that I requested for them to kill themselves and get over it. 

Everytime I enjoy how they seem to communicating, it would be “the atmosphere suddenly became charges and Christian’s eyes darkened. My breath came out in low gasps” and I would be like face-palm, throw my iPhone across the room and scream, “NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!”

In fact, the sex scenes are so boring that I yawned so much and decided to skip it all together. It is always the same things:

Quarrel/fight —> Stare at each other —> Electrocution —> Shag

Why not talk to each other properly?

Personally I won’t like Grey. Feels like he is just trying to rid his male hormones and get into some hot girl’s pants. Maybe it’s just me.

That’s all, my fingers hurt from punching the keyboard.

kiraknightyy

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