I know it is bright and early in the morning, but then I was reading Xiaxue’s blog on the entry about how some people keep expecting others to give up seats to them, and I felt so infuriated on her behalf.
Because I experience them so many times before.
Let us not just limit this blog entry to people who expect others to give up seats to them simply because they are one of the three captured in the silhouettes stuck above the seat, let me tell you ALL sorts of irritating commuters AND bus-drivers.
1. Mothers with young kids
The kid is around five year old, and the mother was very very young for a mother, and the duo boarded the bus. Immediately they scan around the whole bus for seats and then decided to plant themselves right before your mother me.
What was I doing?
I was sitting on the so-called “priority seat”, you know the one which is positioned facing the windows instead of the front of the bus because when I boarded the bus with my friends, it was quite empty. So they let me sit because they love me so much.
No, I am joking.
So here come this young mother clogged full of make up with her little kid in tow, and they stood in front of me.
And I was engrossed in a conversation with Sophia and Delphine at the same time who were standing on the left of the mother and the kid. I was so engrossed that I didn’t notice that the little kid was pointing at me.
Eh, walao eh?
The sits are meant for 1. Old Folks, 2. Pregnant Woman, 3. Disabled.
So let me ask the little girl, which category do you fit in exactly?
Old folks? Pre-marital pregnancy? Lacking a limb or two? No no no, you are lacking your manners and gratitude.
Anyway, like I said I was so engrossed that I didn’t notice that little twerp pointing at me and yoodling at the top of her voice. But then the bus became rather silent and I was like “why is everyone staring at me?”
Sophia seemed to realise that what the girl (and the mother) were doing and gave me this look like, quick! Get out of the goddamned seat before we get Stomped!
So I smiled, embarrassed, and ask the girl if she would like to sit down.
Guess what she did?
SHE STARED AT ME INSOLENTLY, LIKE “GIVE ME THE SEAT!!!!!”
Walao eh!!!!!! The more I think about, the more I wish that the girl would just freaking turn into a bloody roasted pig and get served as offerings to our ancestors.
Anyway, she sat down, and she DID NOT thank me, and her mother gave this very insincere sort of grunt of thanks.
Well then, you ingrates, I hope that you get turned into a pair of slimy slobberish slugs in your next life. And that this guy will pour salt on you! And I WILL LAUGH I SWEAR.
Ooooh you are so mean!
Well I am. Now you know it. And no, wait, I don’t think I am mean. I think horrible people like them deserve to be turned into slugs. Be glad that it is not something worse.
There are many reasons why she does not deserve to sit:
1. Neither she, nor her mother, is pregnant, wobbly old or missing a limb/blind or anything like that. And not to mention that she is not a baby and hence does not need carrying. Why then, do you think that you have the right to make me stand and give up to you?
2. She is pure insolent and thick-skinned. Like if you asked me nicely, “Jiejie can I have the seat? I am a bit tired.” and smile at me, I would go gaga and give you immediately and I may even apologize for not noticing your unworthy presence. Well, you didn’t. You acted like a spoilt brat who deserves a good spanking, no less, and shows a very strong symptom of princess syndrome: the whole world should give in to you. Why should we? Why indeed.
3. “Give up the seat to those who need it more.”
This statement stands okay! I need the seat more because by naked eye, by measurement or by any logical means I have this huge school bag on me (whether it is 10kg or 5kg is not the problem here, both are pretty heavy), and this fat file in my hand and goodness-knows-what textbook. And I have gone through school the whole day, from 6am to 6pm(the time on the bus) no less. And you? =fumes and raves= I need the seat more because I am more tired, carrying more things, while you are carrying nothing and your mother is only carrying a tiny little handbag which cannot even fit 1/6 of the contents I am carrying.
4. Respect me
Regardless, I am older than you and I don’t deserve this kind of insolence from you, the least of people. (sentence sounds weird but I can’t be bothered.) Not to mention that at your demand, I did stand and gave up the seat, but you did not thank me but continue to stare at me insolently. I am very very irritated indeed. In all, respect your elders. I am in a different generation (and I must say, a much better, more independent, more intellectual and polite and gracious generation) from yours and some basic respect would be really really nice. 😀
Okie, enough of the slobberish smelly stinky stank slugs.
Let me tell you more about the feisty old folks on the bus.
2. Feisty Old Folks
This is less about the seats and more about the way the laorenjia (aka old folks, aka LRJ) behave on the bus.
Most of them are quite nice, most are very nice people who are very thankful whenever I give up my seat to them, they would even smile (learn that, you slug girl) and say that I am kind and nice.
Well well, there will have to be a bad egg here and there.
There is this old lady which uses the same bus-stop as me, and every now and then a Black Friday will descend upon me and =smacks forehead= I would see her at the bus-stop.
Let me describe her to you.
She is in her late fifties or early sixties, and she has her eyebrows drawn in a way that makes her look like she has “a permanent frown” on her face. On her arm is a very small and ugly black handbag made of (cheap, I may add) nylon material I think. Not only is her eyebrows set in this permanent frown, her mouth is turned downwards all the time too. And with her small beady eyes, she “miaos” everyone from the corner of her eyes, tsked a little and frowns even more.
OH HO! What an unpleasant little old lady. And how I fear and loathe her because she is so rough/ manhandles people.
So that morning we were all queuing up (not really queuing but just waiting around quite neatly) for the bus to slowly chug its way to the bus-stop, the old lady, from her seat at the bus-stop, spotted her bus.
HEY PRESTO! Her eyes lit up with flames of kiasuness, and she tottered as fast as her squat little legs can carry her, and elbowed her way through a very surprised crowd of people.
And when I say elbow, I mean elbow.
She really used her knobbly elbows to shove people out of the way, with her degraded flabs flapping happily as her elbows came into contact with my file.
Ommph! I went instinctively.
I was so irritated.
“Tsk” I said.
The squashy old lady turned around and unleashed the powers of her beady eyes upon me, who shrivelled under her lazer like glare. Her mouth turned down so much that I thought that the corners of her mouth were going to touch her triple chin which wobbled a little when she was doing the mouth-corner-turning.
Ahhh, so our english teachers were not exaggerating when they said, “If looks could kill, I would have died there and then.”
I died and came back.
And unfortunately, she was still there glaring.
Okay to cut the long story short, she boarded the bus and started seat hunting. And I must include that it seems like nobody is quite that enthusiastic about giving up their seats bright and early in the morning when our brains feel more or less like the watery-cereal-mixture which we just ate. So everyone just closed their eyes and snooze away while blaring “HARU HARU MUDYEOJYEOGANE EH EH EH~~~~!”
I was kidding about everyone listening to Big Bang, but hey, how would I know what they are listening to anyway? I don’t have the ears of a rabbit! D:<
So the grumpy old lady stood, and sulked.
Her mouth turned down more.
Until the corners of the mouth became so downturned that she looked like this:
|Yes yes, she looked like that. (img src: http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrismenning/caption-this-ugly-pug)|
Now about Horrible bus drivers.
3. Horrible Bus Drivers
I have met like three super duper horrid bus-drivers so far, and they are jut such rotten people that I wish they will turn into cabbages and get eaten by slugs.
I shall begin with the most horrible-terrible-smelly-welly-vegetable one first. So that I feel happier as I blog this.
In the first place, is this Indian bus-driver.
And to those who likes to incite “oh you racist” comments, don’t bother, I am just calling a spade a spade. And I am not racist.
Anyway, I was going out with monkins, and my ez-link ran out of credit. So I popped in 55cents (student fare at that time).
The Indian driver glared.
“Eh! Why you pay fifty cents! Should be a dollar and ten! (I forgot the value, so I made up one)” he said in a very loud voice.
Commuters in a five mile radius turned and stared. I cursed him silently.
“I am paying student fare! I am a student!” I seethed and pushed my ugly IC into his oily face.
He stared at the card, full of disbelief at my student pass as though I was holding up a piece of gold and he was doubting its authencity.
As though I was not insulted enough, he went, “tap the card.” grouchily.
So I tapped. The card gave a half cheeful beep of ridicule, and yelled, “I HAVE NO MONEY! WHY AM I STILL BUMPED AGAINST THIS SMELLY MACHINE??”
And the Indian driver wilted a little, as though he was hoping for the card to be fake or something, and hrrrmphed under his breath.
Hey I am insulted!
1. You made the situation unnecessarily embarrassing for me when you yelled at me, which subject me to the cruel judgement of the fellow commuters who know naught of the situation. They, who are too lazy to keep track of the argument, would most likely have concluded that I was a swindler or cheater who wants to cheat for a free/cheapskate ride.
2. I do not look that old, and the lack of an apology/explanation.
While yes, I have been approached multiple times by fellows asking me to sign up for credit cards or asking me to buy a condominium with my fiance (MY FIANCE?!? THE ATROCITY! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT THESE PEOPLE WHO HAVE EYES BUT CANNOT SEE? OR HAVE THEY NO BRAINS?) I am not as insulted. They are advertisers who don’t give a hoot about how old you are, they are just interested to get their products sold out.
And you, the driver? You first don’t believe that I am a student, I am okay with that. Maybe there are boliao people who go around using their little siblings’ cards to get cheapo rides.
Then you think that my card is fake/overdued.
OI! Do I look like I have to cheat a ride out of you? Or cheat you of 50cents or 1 dollar no less? I am insulted to think that people think that I am so moral-less as to cheat 50cents out of a poor bus driver.
And I wouldn’t have been so angry if you have just smiled at the end and said, “oops, sorry, just making sure. nowadays arhhh, so many cheaters around.” I would smile and say no prob, chill, I understand.
No apologies. I feel like I was the center of weird looks for something that I was right in.
Okay, never mind.
My qiliang is bigger than a sperm.
So I am not angry liao.
Second place, drivers who pretends not to see me despite me doing a hundred meter sprint for their bus, and drive off, resulting me in begin later than intended.
It happened quite a few times. And this one time this year, I was exceptionally angry because this salmonella of a bus driver did it so blatantly.
To give you the context of why I am so angry that day, you have to know something first. 6.40a.m. to 6.50a.m. in the morning at my bus-stop is a black hole. Why is it a black hole? Because I can take four buses to school, and yet, in that ten minutes, ABSOLUTELY NO BUS COMES AT ALL.
AND DON’T LAUGH, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
I observed this trend for a week, and decided that I was right.
Anyway, I was sprinting for this Hades-cursed 66 bus, and I was sprinting at a speed that Ms Toh my PE teacher would be proud of, with my short fat legs pumping their best for me to catch that stupid bus. I reached the bus-stop before it drove off and I waved excitedly at the driver.
That rotten banana of a driver saw me, swiveled his head to the other side towards the road…and he…and he…DROVE OFF.
Here I proceed to spasm and and throw a fit that will give our pimple of an island earthquake for the next 50 years.
HOW COULD HE????
I swear I did not knock over his mother with my scooter when I was a little baby. I swear I did not cause the miscarriage of his wife if he even had one in the first place. And I swear that I did not bully his kid if he even had a wife and a kid in the first place.
Because of him, I was trapped in the black hole of no-bus.
Why, I hope you get turned into a crab and get cooked into delicious black pepper crab. At least then you are yummy and I will forgive you as I gorge on your claws. 😀
Okie, blogger recovered so I can type out this very long post. Anyway, the third irritating bus-driver is one who takes his own sweet time at bus interchanges.
So at the bus-interchange, there was this super long snake like queue forming that was waiting for the bus 174. I was gobbling down my yummy chicken in prata remember? Okie, so anyway, the bus-driver came, and everyone was cheerful and started moving along so enter the bus.
So the first person stood outside the bus door patiently and waited.
To be completely fair, another bus came then and all the passengers alighted and that took some time for the crowd to dwindle away.
When the crowd was finally gone, everyone was puzzled (maybe it was just me) as to why no one is entering the bus. So I looked over at the bus driver. And he did some things that totally irritated the hell out of me (okay maybe that was slightly exaggerated, but I was a bit annoyed.)
He adjusted the side mirror.
Then he sat down.
He stood up and adjusted it again.
He sat down again.
He then adjusted the front mirror (above his head).
And repeated this action thrice. (I counted.)
And he messed around with god-knows-what for another full minute.
All this time, everyone was craning their necks wondering is our bus-driver had turned into a porcupine all of a sudden and hence unable to drive.
So that it is for my three irritating occurrences, have you seen worse? Or have you seen better?
Okay actually something else irritated me too. It was this girl from my school living near me. She behaves very pompously and I really detest her, but I don’t feel like typing it out now because I feel like blogging something else. About how to define a mean person.
So I shall end this post here and start a post on “who exactly is a mean person?”