Sometimes I cry to myself for seemingly no reason at all.
I just do.
It could have stress, it could have been weakness, it could have been for purely trivial reasons.
Strangely it feels good at times to cry it out rather than to pretend that everything is fine and great all the time.
What Dol said made a lot of sense, there are just these times when you feel like telling people that “No, I am not okay. I am screwed up and I am in a terrible mood. What should I do?”
But for me, rather to see the horror struck face of people (for it would make me immensely guilty, whoever it is), I kept to “Yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking.” standard answer.
It feels hypocritical to be feeling one thing and saying another, but I suppose white lies are sometimes necessary to protect others from what they need not know.
Maybe sometimes I will confuse my priorities, but after tears, after sadness, I would be all okay again with my priorities set straight. I know what is dearest to me and what I have to protect.
Nothing else would matter.