What is inspired me to write this was that I was going down to the mini mart to buy salt this evening, and when I was waiting for my lift to get back home, there was this hairy man waiting for the lift with me.
How does he look like?
Imagine your typical ahpeh, with wisp black hair, oily face, big nose and a HUGE mole on the face. There are a few strands of hair coming out from the mole. And he had this sleazy look. Maybe I am wrong to prejudge him. He might be a really nice guy with a nice wife and kids. But hey, whatever. I am not going to know him before avoiding him or something. But I do think that HE LOOKS LIKE YOUR TYPICAL MOLESTER.
|Hairy mole. Yuck. (img source: http://www.hairymole.info/)|
The main point is that at that moment, I thought of so many ways to repulse a man so that you hold no sexual appeals for him to rape you or molest you or even ogle at you.
The mindset of a guy is that when a girl is effing hot or sexy, he would probably have wild thoughts. Don’t act shy. Some molesters like it when you look uncomfortable. Don’t be looking all pissed either. They like to annoy the hell out of you.
What should you do then?
TAKE AWAY YOUR APPEAL. YES.
Follow these easy steps:
- Scratch your head in a very careless manner. Make your hair very messy. Then pick your nails and flick whatever that is in your nails out like you have dandruff. That, my dear, is a total turnoff.
- If he still shows interest, pick your nose. Really dig it. And look at him and flick your booze at him. He should be totally grossed out by now.
- Smell yourself. And go like, “Ugh, I stink. Shit I need to bathe today. I mean, how can I forget to bathe for ONE WHOLE WEEK?” Then scratch your own armpit, smell it and wrinkle your nose. 😀
- If he is still ogling you, pick your teeth or clean your teeth. Then smell it. And wipe it on the wall. (don’t do it if you live in my block, I will freaking murder you!)
- Okay, final step. Dig your ears and pretend that there are maggots in your ears. Scream “MAGGOTS!!!!!!!!!!!” and jump around while scratching your butt.
IF THE MAN IS STILL TURNED ON, THEN THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM!
Final Ultimate Step:
I think I am a pretty awesome blogger, oh yeah I am.