It is invariably this way: I try my best to hold onto everyone who is important to me, but they all end up being angry with me anyway.
Because they still feel neglected at the end of the day.
I am trying really.
I am trying my best to make everyone around me happy and pleased and un-neglected to the point that I am neglected my own feelings and my own issues.
I made time to meet my friends who are down and need me even though I have tests to study for.
I made time to placate my mom or please her even though she is angry with me half the time and disappointed the other half. I have no idea how not to disappoint her. Does making her happy means a complete sacrifice of my individual contentment? I feel that I am compromising as much as I can.
I am really trying.
I am bottling up everything that hurts inside me and trying to be positive all the time, maybe not for myself but for those around me. I know that nobody likes to be around a soursop so I try my best to be cheery for myself as well.
I am not bitter. I am merely feeling very defeated.
I already said I was sorry whether I was right or I was wrong unfailingly. I’m saying sorry because right and wrong doesn’t matter when it comes to my closest family or friends, yet things don’t get amended.
I have the limitations to how much I can balance too.
I am really sorry if anyone still feels neglected, but when you do, please – just please think for a moment that I am already putting you in front of myself.